In Walmart the other day, I saw a wall-hanging with these words. I have always found this saying confusing. If you can love and laugh, are you not alive?
Having been on chemotherapy since August 2015, I admit my focus has been on dying, and how to do it gracefully. Lying in bed most of the day, my thoughts have gone to updating my will, putting my affairs in order, and decluttering my office and closets. Actually, a very positive focus for a while. Who wants to leave a ton of shredding and confusion to family?
If I were the one to have made such a poster in these past months, it would read “Die. Love. Laugh.” But I have had some days of renewed energy lately, which have led me on several shopping and errand excursions. My focus has been on living and getting my life back on track. I find myself making plans, planting seeds, and decorating my home.
Now the poster makes sense to me. We have a choice to die or to live. Sometimes life throws things our way that are unexpected, and a focus on taking stock, for a while, is a good thing.
Still. I don’t think most people “get it” unless they have spent some time in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.
I would love to be able to attend Jenny Allen’s session, “I Got Sick and then I Got Better,” at the Ovarian Canada conference on May 15th in Niagara Falls. Maybe she could come to Ottawa.